So --
So....
So, OK. Here is my advice to you: don't have children with someone you barely know. Just don't, unless it is absolutely unavoidable. Don't be like me and presume everything is going to work out for the best. I mean, what is even the best?
5 years and innumerable arguments, reconciliations, threats, cold shoulders, "really hard trying," long conversations, hot tempers, lonely nights, grumpy mornings, peaceful weekends, shitty vacations.
One last breach, one terse dismissal, and we're done.
I am officially a single mother of two. Tim is moving out, officially, this weekend. I am:
relieved
terrified
hopeful
and rinse and repeat and collapse into bed.
I am one of these weird people who adores change. Give me a map and a key to a new apartment and I am in heaven. So, that part, the change part, of the whole thing is not scary to me: it's exhilarating. I get to set a new normal for me and my girls. We are working on new routines. We are figuring out short-term and long-term plans. We are not moving, in spite of Little A's repeated requests to do so (chip off the old block, that one), at least not for the summer. Nothing is *actually* changing except for Daddy being less present. The dog might be taking it harder than the kids, for the moment.
Here's the thing, also. There are these two small humans (and a dog and a cat and 5 chickens) who are entirely dependent on me to be OK. So I am OK. I am not even faking OK. I am absolutely OK and focused on the future and getting through this tough part with minimal scarring.
The girls and I went on a trip to Longboat Key, Florida, last week, and spent loads of time in the sun, without their dad. It was a perfectly-timed glimpse at our new life. It was fun, tiring, exciting, and filled with hugs and kisses and tears and tantrums and SUPER late bedtimes and meltdowns and swimming and everything.
 |
| More than fine. |
So here we are: the Lady Bunch (aka the Green Team, per Little A., when we are crushing our new routines and working together to get where we need to go metaphorically and in reality). We are going to be just fine.
We are going to be just fine.
We are going to be just fine.
xoxo, A
